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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26334835">Hooty vs Thanos</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_dunno/pseuds/I_dunno'>I_dunno</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:40:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26334835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_dunno/pseuds/I_dunno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>See title</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hooty vs Thanos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here's a ridiculous piece of crack I wrote while taking a break from writing a Lumity piece. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
  <span>“Finally, I have all the Infinity Stones! Now all I need to do is snap my fingers and-” Thanos paused mid-monologue when a tube with an owl face shot out to place itself between his thumb and forefinger.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Hiiiiiiii! I’m Hooty! Do you wanna be my frieeeeend?” Hooty asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“No you insolent fool! With the power of the Infinity Stones, I am going to- where did the Infinity Stones go?”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You mean the colorful bugs on your fancy glove? I ate them! Hoot!”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You- THOSE WEREN’T BUGS YOU IMBECILE! THOSE WERE SIX OF THE MOST POWERFUL ARTIFACTS IN THE COSMOS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU’VE DONE?” thundered Thanos.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Mmmmmmm… Nope!” Hooty replied cheerily, twisting his face upside down.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Hah! No matter. You clearly don’t have the power to wield the stones. Soon they’ll burn their way out of you and I can finally put my plan into action!”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Well, now that you mention it, they are kinda buzzing in my tummy, hoot hoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“See? Any second now, you’ll-”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“It reminds me of that time I ate a sparrow! Or maybe it was a robin. Or maybe it was a leaf. I think it was a leaf. It buzzed like that too, hoot hoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You mean to tell me… you ate the Infinity Stones and it feels like you ate a leaf?” Thanos asked increduously.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“No! It feels like I ate six leaves, hoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Maybe… maybe this is a sign. Clearly I am not worthy to wield the stones if… this happened. What even are you?” Thanos asked dejectedly.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“I’m Hooty! Hooty hoot hoo-” Hooty’s chatter dissolved into a fit of coughing. For a moment Thanos was hopeful that this blasted creature was spitting up the Infinity Stones, but he was disappointed when all that Hooty coughed up was half of a dead rat. Directly onto Thanos’ feet.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“That’s it. AVENGERS! I SURRENDER! DO WITH ME AS YOU SEE FIT! JUST GET ME AWAY FROM THIS MONSTER!”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You can run, but I’ll still be in your nightmares!” shrieked Hooty before biting off Thanos’ dick and disappearing underground.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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